I am bored so I am writing his here. Lalalala...oh look there goes a vampire butterfly pulling a ship of pirate gerbils...no I am not crazy...simply bored...

Today was actualy a good day. Things went my way- wait! Is this really what I am supposed to be writing here? Oh well... I guess I'll make my own rules.

So now I am going to post a script based off of a dream I had...why? Because I feel like it!

Note: When actually spoken by self, things are added additionally. I am just to lazy to rewrite it here...



Narrator: On a ship in the middle of the third galaxy near a planet called Gip, a captain contemplates whether she should save that universe or watch her favorite space drama, “I’m sorry, but I love the Alien.” Creatures from Gip, known as Reab’s are planning to destroy every planet within the third galaxy in order to assert their dominance. However, our Captain doesn’t really care. What will our heroine choose? Let us find out...


Dolan: Captain! I need you to meet me in the lab as soon as possible!

Captain: *sighs* What could he possibly want this time...

Gregg: Ma’am? I don’t really know but you should probably go find out.

C: Okay... first of all, you do not call me ma’am. It is captain. Cap-tain. And secondly, I am the one who gives orders around here. Not you. Okay? I thought we went over this already?

G: You’re right I apologize ma- ... captain.

C: Better. Okay, Dolan. Now that I am here what do you want?

D: We have discovered that a planet know as Gip houses these creatures known as Reab’s-

C: Sorry to interrupt but what the hell are reab’s?

D: I suppose the best way to describe them would be as bear-like creatures, no bigger than a small child...

C: And why should I be worried about them. They don’t sound that threatening...instead...they sound rather cute.

D: I wish you would take this seriously since they are planning to destroy the third universe...

C: Okay...so why should I care? How does them destroying this universe affect me? I mean I have a house on a planet in the second galaxy, but still spend most of my time on this ship...if this universe is destroyed, we could always move to the next...

D: Well...I don’t really know...but since we are the only ones who can do anything about it, I think it would be the right thing to do...

C: Since when have I cared abut doing the right thing...plus my drama’s on tonight.

D: We do have tevo...you could always just tivo it...it is not like it is performed live or watching it slightly later is going to affect the outcome or quality in any way. It is still going to be stupid.

C: Do not insult my dramas Dolan! Save the universe, watch my drama...save the universe, watch my drama...decisions decisions... Fine...I’ll do it...now how am I supposed to get down to the planet Gip.

D: Well our local scientists have been working on a teleportation machine and they have worked out almost all of the kinks...

C: almost all of the kinks...what do you mean by that..

D: I am not sure if you really want to know...it is slightly grotesque...

C: Listen Dolan...if I am going to be teleported, I want to know damn well what might happen to me...and the other crew members of course. So you better tell me what is going to or might happen me.

D: Okay, okay, no need to blow a fuse! Simply put...well...

C: Out with it already Dolan!

D: Your insides will become your outsides...

C: Oh is that all? WHAT!

D: See...I told you it was better not knowing...

C: No, no...it’s okay... um...it just took me by surprise...when do we leave

D: About five minutes...

C: Five minutes!? Quick! Give me the intercom speaker-thingy-majiggie...

D: This?

(Hands over speaker)

C: I need my special-ops crew over here asap! And bring my suit! What do I do with this now? Oh well...Here you go Dolan.

D: Thank you?

G: Ma- Captain...Do you have any sort of battle-plan?

C: No! That is your job now! You are now the head person of Battle Plans...so what do we do?

G: Um...I don’t know...once we are teleported...sneak up and surround the camp thn ambush?

C: Brilliant! That’s what we’ll do! Okay...now that everyone is here and ready to go...fire up the teleporter

D: Okay captain! It’s ready for you to go.

C: Well...here goes nothing...(teleports) Well I’m fine! How’s everyone else...oh...oh god! (mumbles stuff to self) Dolan...we are going to need you to teleport someone else back up there right away...

D: I’m sorry...but it only works one way...you are on your own...

C: what! What the hell Dolan! Augh! Well...it would seem that he cannot be teleported back up..so let’s just go over there...

Uh-oh...it looks like we’ve been captured boys...boys? Where the hell are all of you!

Aliens: Speak mumbo-jumbo...

C: How the hell am I supposed to understand these things...wait! I have a translator...now where did I put that piece of junk...oh! Here it is. Let’s see if I remember how to work it.

Aliens: Surrender no human-

C: Yes! It works.

Aliens: Quick take her to the catapult! Then we can take over the universe! No one shall ever call us cute again!

C: Catapult? What? You would think they would have a laser or some sort of rocket to blast me up into space...but no....they are gonna’ use a catapult!

A: Quick! Load it up!

C: Really, can’t we be rational here? See eye to eye? You know, negotiate out a plan or something. Aw come on! At least let me watch my drama! I knew I should have just ignored Dolan...

A: Fire!